THE WIZARD OF OZ

Adapted by

John F. Barber
from

The radio script by
Sandy Barnett
for
The Lux Radio Theatre, 25 Dec. 1950 (Episode #726)

CC BY-NC-ND 4.0
(https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/)
Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-NoDerivs 4.0 International

Re-Imagined Radio
Season 11, Episode 03

Final draft

THE WIZARD OF OZ

Re-Imagined Radio
Season 11, Episode 03
Final Draft

Premiere broadcast: March 20, 2023

Adapted by
John F. Barber

From the radio script by
Sandy Barnett
for
The Lux Radio Theatre, 25 Dec. 1950 (Episode #726)

Synopsis
The little known radio adaptation of the classic movie, The Wizard of Oz (1939) heard on The Lux Radio Theatre, 25 December 1950, episode #726. Judy Garland, the only original cast member, recreates her starring movie role as Dorothy Gale along with a fine cast.

Color Code
SFX = sound effect(s), either pre-recorded or created for episode. Pre-recorded audio is used as content in this episode.

Magenta highlighted text with strike through = content deleted in post-production for episode timing

MUSIC = pre-recorded

MUSIC = bespoke, created for this episode

COLD OPEN
SFX: SAMPLE FROM EPISODE
WITCH
Going so soon?
LION
(WHIMPERS) The Witch! The Wicked Witch!
WITCH
Why, my little party's just about to begin. Guards, seize them! Seize them!
SFX: MURMURING GUARDS ENTER
WITCH
Thought you were being pretty foxy, huh? Now I've got the whole lot of you. Let's see -- how shall I start the fun? You first, Scarecrow! (CACKLES) How about another ball of fire?
SFX: FOOM! OF FIRE BALL
SCARECROW
(QUICKLY) No! No, no, no -- not that! Not fire!
DOROTHY
(SCREAMS)
SFX: CRACKLE! OF FLAMES
SCARECROW
Help! I'm burning! I'm burning!
DOROTHY
I'll help you! This bucket of water--!
WITCH
Water? No! No! Put down that water!
SFX: SPLASH OF WATER! HISS OF STEAM!
SCARECROW
Oh, thank you, Dorothy, thank you!
WITCH
Ohhhh! You cursed brat! You've killed me! You've killed me! (GROANS)
DOROTHY
Nonsense. I - I just happened to splash some water on you, too.
WITCH
(GROANS)
LION
(IN AWE) Look! The Witch! She's melting.
WITCH
Ohhh, what a world, what a world! Who would have thought that a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? I'm going. I'm going fast! (DYING) Oooooooooooooh.
SFX: MURMURING GUARDS
TIN MAN
(She is gone! Look, nothing but a little steaming puddle!)
CAPTAIN
(ASTONISHED) She's dead. You've killed the Wicked Witch.
DOROTHY
But I didn't mean to kill her! I - I didn't know that water would--
CAPTAIN
You don't understand. Now we're all free. (YELLS, TO THE GUARDS) She enslaved us! But now her spell over all of us is broken!
SFX: GUARDS CHEER JOYOUSLY!
CAPTAIN
All hail to Dorothy! The Wicked Witch is dead!
GUARDS
Hail! Hail! Hail!
MUSIC: "DING DONG! THE WITCH IS DEAD"
GUARDS
(SING) Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead! Wake up, you sleepy head! Rub your eyes, get out of bed. Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead! She's gone where the Goblins go, Below ... below ... below ...
DOROTHY
(OVERLAPS WITH SONG ABOVE) Oh, thank you. And, if you don't mind, may I please have her broom?
CAPTAIN
(GRATEFUL) Here -- take it with you.
DOROTHY
(TO HER FRIENDS, HAPPY) Now we can go back to the Wizard!
LION
And tell him the Wicked Witch is dead.
SCARECROW
Onward to Emerald City!
MUSIC: "DING DONG!" UP AND THEN CROSSFADE TO . . .
MUSIC: RIR THEME
PROLOGUE
ANNOUNCER
Welcome to Re-Imagined Radio, a program about radio storytelling. I’m Jack Armstrong. With each episode we combine dialogue, sound effects, and music to engage your listening imagination. This episode is no different, and here to tell you about it is John Barber, producer and host.
HOST
Thank you Jack. Hello everyone. Welcome.
I imagine you're familiar with the movie The Wizard of Oz. Produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, and released 25 August 1939, The Wizard of Oz is noted today for its use of Technicolor, fantasy storytelling, musical score, and memorable characters. The film won an Academy Award for Best Song, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Judy Garland starred. It was adapted from the children’s fantasy novel The Wonderful Wizard Oz by L. Frank Baum, published in 1900. Critics call it one of the greatest films of all times.
But did you know there's a little known radio adaptation of The Wizard of Oz, also starring Judy Garland?
We explore that story in this episode of Re-Imagined Radio, originating from KXRW-FM, Vancouver, Washington's community radio station. We thank them for their support.
And we thank YOU for joining us as Re-Imagined Radio presents "The Wizard of Oz."
MUSIC: CINEMATIC TRANSITION
HOST
A little known radio adaptation of the classic movie The Wizard of Oz was performed live on The Lux Radio Theatre, 25 December 1950. Judy Garland and a fine cast of other voice actors recreated the story, characters, songs, and adventures that are today so much of our popular culture.
The Lux Radio Theatre was a weekly radio anthology series, from 1934 to 1955. Sponsored by Lever Brothers, manufacturers of Lux soap, The Lux Radio Theatre featured Hollywood actors voicing adaptations from their current movies. Every Monday night broadcast in front of a live audience was like an opening night, with marquee lights, new stars, and fans seeking autographs.
I imagine Christmas Night was even more frantic as the audience settled down to listen to Judy Garland reprise her character Dorothy Gale from The Wizard of Oz movie. It's a story we all know . . . the story of a girl named Dorothy, who lives with her Auntie Em and Uncle Henry on a Kansas farm. Her dearest friend is her dog, Toto, but Dorothy has other friends, too. The farm hands, for instance -- Zeke and Hunk and Hickory.
Let's listen now to our Re-Imagined Radio adaption of "The Wizard of Oz."
MUSIC: MUSICAL TRANSITION. FADE OUT FOR . . .
ACT 1: TOTO IS TAKEN
SFX: TOTO BARKS EXCITEDLY, CONTINUES IN BG
HICKORY
Hey, what's your hurry, honey? What's wrong?
DOROTHY
(AGITATED) It's Toto, Hickory! Toto!
ZEKE
Toto? Somethin' wrong with that dog? Why, he looks fine to me.
DOROTHY
(OVERWROUGHT) Well, he - he is Zeke, but he almost wasn't. Miss Gulch hit him, just because he gets in her garden and chases her nasty old cat.
ZEKE
(HUMORS HER) Oh, sure, honey, sure. Only we're busy, see? I got them hogs to get in.
HUNK
Now, look, Dorothy, you just ain't usin' your head about that mean, old Miss Gulch. You'd think you didn't have a brain at all.
DOROTHY
Hunk! I have so got brains.
HUNK
Well, use 'em, then. When you're walkin' home with Toto, just keep away from Miss Gulch's place. Your head ain't made of straw, you know.
ZEKE
Gosh, Dorothy, that Miss Gulch ain't nobody to be 'fraid of. Have a little courage, that's all.
DOROTHY
Courage, Zeke?
ZEKE
Why, sure. You know, like - like me.
HICKORY
Well, look who's talking. You? Courage?
HUNK
There ain't a man in the county who scares easier 'n you.
ZEKE
Well, well, that's a fine thing to say.
HICKORY
(QUICKLY) Look out, Zeke, that pig's gonna bite you!
ZEKE
(PANICS) Where?! What pig?! Help! Help!
HUNK
(LAUGHS)
HICKORY
(LAUGHS) You see what I mean?
ZEKE
Now cut that out. Scarin' a man half to death like that.
AUNTIE EM
(APPROACHES) Here now, here! What's all this jabber-wabbin' when there's work to be done?
DOROTHY
It's about Toto, Auntie Em. Miss Gulch says she's gonna go and get the sheriff and--
AUNTIE EM
Hunk, I thought you and Hickory was supposed to be fixin' that wagon.
HUNK
Oh, we are, Miss Gale. Hand me that wrench, Hickory.
AUNTIE EM
And feed them hogs, Zeke, before they worry themselves into anemia.
ZEKE
Yes, ma'am.
AUNTIE EM
Now then, child, what's your trouble?
DOROTHY
Auntie Em, really, do you know what Miss Gulch said she was gonna do to Toto? She said she was gonna--
AUNTIE EM
There you go again, imaginin' things. You know you always get yourself into a fret over nothin'.
DOROTHY
Oh, but this time--
AUNTIE EM
Now, you just help us all out this afternoon. Find yourself a place where you won't get into any trouble. (MOVING OFF) I gotta get back in the house.
DOROTHY
Yes, Auntie Em. (SIGHS) Come on, Toto.
TOTO
(BARKS)
MUSIC: INTRO OF "OVER THE RAINBOW"
DOROTHY
Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? Where there isn't any trouble?
TOTO
(WHINES SYMPATHETICALLY)
DOROTHY
There must be. Not a place you can get to by a boat or a train, but it's far, far away, behind the moon, beyond the rain ...
(SINGS)
Somewhere over the rainbow way up high,  There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue, And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.  Where troubles melt like lemon drops away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly.  Birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow  Why, oh, why can't I?
MUSIC: TO A FINISH ... THEN "OVER THE RAINBOW" FILLS A PAUSE BEFORE FADING OUT
(PAUSE)
AUNTIE EM
(FADES IN) Oh, now hold on a second, Miss Gulch. Surely you don't mean that! Why, that little dog--
MISS GULCH
That dog's a menace to the community! I'm taking that animal to the sheriff and make sure he's destroyed!
DOROTHY
(APPROACHES) Destroyed?! Oh, no, no, please! You mustn't!
TOTO
(BARKS)
UNCLE HENRY
Why, honey, we didn't know you were there.
TOTO
(WHINES APOLOGETICALLY BEHIND--)
DOROTHY
Toto didn't know he was doing anything wrong. I'm the one who ought to be punished, Uncle Henry. I let him go in her garden.
MISS GULCH
There's a law protectin' folks against animals like that!
DOROTHY
No! No! Please!
AUNTIE EM
Well, we can't go against the law, Dorothy.
MISS GULCH
Now you're bein' smart. (SAVAGE) Give him to me!
DOROTHY
No! I won't let you take him! I won't! You're a witch! A wicked old witch!
AUNTIE EM
Dorothy!
DOROTHY
Oh, please, Auntie Em! Please!
MUSIC: SNEAKS IN ... "WITCH" THEME ... IN BG
MISS GULCH
Ahhh! I got him at last! (MOVING OFF) And there's nothing any of you can do about it!
TOTO
(MOVING OFF WITH MISS GULCH, BARKS ANGRILY)
DOROTHY
Toto! Toto!
MUSIC: BUILDS TO BRIEF DRAMATIC BRIDGE
ACT 2: THE TORNADO
SFX: FARMYARD BACKGROUND ... ANIMAL NOISES
HUNK
Now, come on, Dorothy; cheer up, honey.
DOROTHY
(TEARFUL) Please, Hunk. I don't feel like talking. Not to anybody.
HUNK
Not even to Toto?
DOROTHY
Oh, you know he's gone. You know Miss Gulch took him away.
HUNK
I know somethin' else, too, honey. Toto musta jumped out o' her basket and run back home, because there's a little brown and white dog lookin' all over for you.
TOTO
(APPROACHES, BARKS HAPPILY)
DOROTHY
(STUNNED) Oh, Toto. Toto, you're back.
TOTO
(BARKS)
DOROTHY
(JOYOUS) Toto! Toto!
TOTO
(A FINAL BARK ... THEN WHINES BEHIND--)
MUSIC: SNEAKS IN ... WARM ... THEN TURNING APPREHENSIVE BEHIND--
DOROTHY
You came back to me, Toto! Oh, I thought you were dead. I-- I-- (REALIZES) They'll be coming after you; Miss Gulch -- and the sheriff maybe. We've got to run away! Now, Toto! Where no one'll ever find us or - or take you away again. Yes, Toto -- we've got to run away!
MUSIC: UP ... "OVER THE RAINBOW" ... BRIEF BRIDGE ... FADES OUT BY [X]
SFX: DOROTHY'S FOOTSTEPS .. THEN IN BG
DOROTHY
It's getting dark, Toto. I - I think maybe there's a storm coming. But we'll just keep going, won't we? We're not afraid. It's - it's just like Zeke said -- courage.
SFX: BLEAK, DESOLATE WIND BLOWS, IN BG
TOTO
(BARKS EXCITEDLY)
DOROTHY
I see what you mean. A wagon -- a horse and a wagon and - and a man. And there's a big sign on the wagon. Wait, I think I can see what it says. (READS) "Professor Marvel, acclaimed by the crowned heads of Europe. Let him read your past, present, and future in his crystal."
MARVEL
(APPROACHES) Well! Who might you be?
DOROTHY
(QUIETLY, TO TOTO) Uh, I guess it's all right, Toto. He - he looks like a nice man.
MARVEL
Well, if you're not going to tell me who you are, suppose I tell you.
DOROTHY
(PUZZLED) But how can you?
MARVEL
(SHORT LAUGH) Professor Marvel knows all, tells all! Your past, present, future for twenty-five cents, a quarter of a dollar. Two bits, if you prefer.
DOROTHY
Oh. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can afford it.
MARVEL
Oh. So, your name's Dorothy, is it?
DOROTHY
How did you know that?
MARVEL
Well, on the one hand, perhaps I saw ya in my crystal and, on the other hand, perhaps a fellow named Zeke passed by a while ago lookin' for you.
DOROTHY
Oh. I see.
MARVEL
But don't you think for one minute I couldn't have figured it out for myself. Why, Professor Marvel and his magic crystal have amazed royalty and peasantry alike the world over.
DOROTHY
Oh, please, Professor, can't we go with you and see all the crowned heads of Europe?
MARVEL
(TOO QUICKLY) Oh, do you know any? (RECOVERS) Oh, you - you mean the sign on my wagon.
DOROTHY
I - I don't suppose you could take just a little look in your magic crystal for me? For nothing, I mean.
MARVEL
Matter of fact, young lady, I already have -- oh, just practicing you understand -- and you know what I saw?
DOROTHY
What?
MARVEL
A woman, tears in her eyes, care worn. A woman looking for someone, and her name is, uh--
DOROTHY
Auntie Em?
MARVEL
Kindly allow me to supply the answers. (BEAT) Her name is Auntie Em. Someone has almost broken her heart.
DOROTHY
(MEEKLY) Me?
MARVEL
Well, someone she loves very much. And then, just before the crystal went dark, I - I saw her put her hand over her heart and drop - drop down on the floor.
DOROTHY
(WORRIED) Oh, no. No. You don't suppose she could really be sick do you? Oh, I - I've got to go home right away!
MARVEL
Go home? I thought you were going along with me.
SFX: SNEAKS IN ... THE COMING STORM ... INCREASINGLY LOUD, IN BG
DOROTHY
But I've got to get to her right away. (CALLS) Toto! (MOVING OFF) Come on, Toto, we're going. (CALLS) Good-bye, Professor, and thank you!
MUSIC: SNEAKS IN ... ACCOMPANIES STORM
MARVEL
(CALLS) Don't waste any time! There's a windstorm blowing up! (TO HIMSELF) Oh, poor little kid. Hope she gets home all right.
MUSIC: UP, FOR A TORNADO ... BRIDGE ... THEN IN BG, IN AGREEMENT WITH FOLLOWING--
SFX WIND HOWLS, IN BG
TOTO
(BARKS)
DOROTHY
(CALLS) Auntie Em?! Auntie Em?!
TOTO
(BARKS)
DOROTHY
There's - there's nobody in the house, Toto! I can't find anybody!
TOTO
(BARKS)
DOROTHY
Auntie Em!
TOTO
(BARKS)
DOROTHY
(REALIZES) The storm cellar! That's where they are! The storm--!
SFX: HOUSE STARTS TO SHAKE
TOTO
(BARKS)
DOROTHY
Toto! The house! The house is blowing away! Toto, look out! Look out!
SFX: HOUSE BREAKS LOOSE ... IS SUCKED UP INTO TORNADO
MUSIC: HITS A CLIMAX ... THEN OUT ... OMINOUS PAUSE ... THEN RETURNS TO PAINT A PICTURE OF THE HOUSE (AND EVERYTHING ELSE) FLYING THROUGH THE AIR, IN BG, IN AGREEMENT WITH FOLLOWING--
SFX: WIND HOWLS, IN BG
DOROTHY
(ASTONISHED) Toto? Toto, where are we? What's happening? We're in the house, but the house is up in the air! Everything's moving; everything's rushing through the sky -- barns and buggies --
MUSIC: FOR A CHICKEN ROOST FLYING BY ... THEN IN BG
DOROTHY
-- and there goes our chicken roost!
MUSIC: ACCENT THE CHICKEN ROOST ... THEN IN BG
DOROTHY
(REALIZES) Toto, we're caught in a cyclone. We're right up inside the middle of a cyclone! Why, there's old Mr. Gallagher in his rowboat. (CALLS) Mr. Gallagher!
GALLAGHER
(CALLS, OFF) Howdy, Miss Dorothy! Kinda breezy, ain't it?!
DOROTHY
And Uncle Henry's heifer. (CALLS) Bossie! Bossie!
BOSSIE
MOOOOOOO!
DOROTHY
I - I don't understand this at all. Things are flying around so fast that I can-- I can-- (SEES MISS GULCH) Look! Miss Gulch!
MISS GULCH
(CACKLES HIDEOUSLY)
DOROTHY
Now she's on a broomstick! She is a witch! Don't worry, Toto, I won't let her--!
SFX: WIND OUT WITH--
MUSIC: ALL OUT ABRUPTLY EXCEPT FOR A LONG HELD NOTE ... TO DEPICT THE HOUSE MOMENTARILY STOPPED IN MIDAIR
DOROTHY
We've stopped moving, Toto. We're standing still.
MUSIC: OMINOUS
DOROTHY
But we can't stand still up in the middle of the air! We're going to fall. We are falling!
MUSIC: ACCENT! ... THEN, FOR A FALLING HOUSE ... THEN IN BG
DOROTHY
We're falling! We're falling! We're falling!
MUSIC: DEPICTS THE HOUSE FALLING AND LANDING WITH A CRASH!
ACT 3: DOROTHY MEETS THE MUNCHKINS
MUSIC: THEN IN BG, FOR A GENTLE PICTURE OF MAGICAL MUNCHKINLAND (INCLUDES ETHEREAL CHOIR)
TOTO
(WHINES UNHAPPILY, GROWLS)
DOROTHY
(AWED) Toto? We've landed. But where? Where - where are we?
TOTO
(BARKS, GROWLS)
DOROTHY
Why, it's a regular little village. And look! Houses and streets and trees and fountains.
TOTO
(BARKS POINTEDLY)
DOROTHY
Yes, you're quite right. That is our house over there. We must have bounced out when we landed, but what place is this?
TOTO
(BARKS UNEASILY)
DOROTHY
I have a feeling we're being watched. I have another feeling we're not in Kansas any more. Why, we must be over the rainbow.
MUSIC: SNATCH OF "OVER THE RAINBOW" BEHIND ABOVE ... THEN A FANFARE FOR GLINDA'S ARRIVAL ... THEN IN BG
DOROTHY
Toto, look! There's a big bubble coming down the street, and - and there's someone inside it. A lady, and she's stepping out of it. Oh, now I know we're not in Kansas.
MUSIC: GENTLY OUT
GLINDA
(PLEASANT, TO DOROTHY) Tell me, please -- are you a good witch or a bad witch?
DOROTHY
(CONFUSED) Me? Oh, I'm - I'm not a witch at all. I'm Dorothy Gale, from Kansas.
GLINDA
Oh. Well, I am a little muddled. The Munchkins just summoned me because--
DOROTHY
The - Munchkins?
GLINDA
You happen to be standing in the very center of their village, you know.
DOROTHY
And they sent for you?
GLINDA
Because some new witch has just dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the East. See? Over there.
DOROTHY
Oh, but that's our farmhouse, from Kansas.
GLINDA
Now, look where I point my wand.
DOROTHY
(BIG GASP!) Two red slippers!
GLINDA
Exactly. Two red slippers protruding from under the farmhouse -- all that's left of The Wicked Witch of the East. And since it's your farmhouse, obviously you're responsible. Oh, you've made the Munchkins very happy, my dear.
DOROTHY
If - if you please, what are Munchkins?
GLINDA
The little people who live in this land. It's Munchkinland, and you are now their national heroine.
DOROTHY
And who are you?
GLINDA
Why, I'm Glinda, of course, the Witch of the North.
DOROTHY
Witch?! But you're beautiful!
MUSIC: SNEAKS IN ... BUILDS TO SONG
GLINDA
Thank you. You see, only bad witches are ugly and I'm considered a very good witch. Now, suppose I call the - (CALLS GENTLY) - Munchkins?
SFX: MUNCHKINS EMERGE AND CHATTER DURING FOLLOWING--
GLINDA
(SINGS)
Come out, come out, wherever you are  And meet the young lady who fell from a star.  She fell from the sky, she fell very far  And Kansas, she says, is the name of the star.
(SPEAKS) 
Well, Munchkins? Have you nothing to say to her? Where's the mayor? Ah, there you are.
MUSIC: GENTLY OUT
MAYOR
Ah, first of all, Miss Dorothy, a little floral tribute.
DOROTHY
Oh, what beautiful flowers! Oh, thank you, thank you!
MAYOR
There will be, of course, a parade and general celebration, with a brass band and a regiment of cavalry. Meanwhile-- (JOYOUS SHOUT) Oh, let the joyous news be spread! The wicked, old witch at last is dead!
MUSIC: FANFARE ... THEN "DING DONG! THE WITCH IS DEAD"
MUNCHKINS
(SING) Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.  Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!  Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!
Wake up, you sleepy head!  Rub your eyes, get out of bed.  Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead!
She's gone where the Goblins go,  Below ... below ... below.  Yo-ho, let's open up and sing  And ring the bells out.
Ding Dong! The merry-oh!  Sing it high, sing it low.  Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!
MUSIC: SONG ENDS ... BASS DRUM! CRASH OF CYMBALS! THEN OMINOUS ... FOR THE ARRIVAL OF THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST ... CONTINUES IN BG, ABRUPTLY OUT AT [X]
SFX: MUNCHKINS PANIC
MAYOR
Smoke! A cloud of red smoke!
1ST MUNCHKIN
Shooting fire! And - and explosions!
2ND MUNCHKIN
The witch is coming! The Wicked Witch!
DOROTHY
But I thought you said she was dead!
GLINDA
She is dead. This one on the broomstick is her sister, the Wicked Witch of the West.
MAYOR
She's even worse than the other one.
WITCH
(BELLOWS) Silence! I demand silence!
DOROTHY
(REALIZES) It's Miss Gulch! That's who it is, Miss Gulch!
WITCH
(TO DOROTHY) Hard of hearing, are you? I said silence! (TO ALL) Now then! Who killed my sister? (TO DOROTHY) Was it you?
DOROTHY
No, no! It was an accident. I didn't mean to kill anyone.
WITCH
Well, my little pretty, I can cause accidents, too.
GLINDA
(PLEASANT) Aren't you forgetting the ruby slippers?
WITCH
(GREEDILY) The slippers! My sister's slippers! There they are, still on her feet, over there! Well, I'll just take them.
GLINDA
Just a moment, if you please.
MUSIC: FOR A MAGIC SPELL ... THEN IN BG, OUT AT [Y]
GLINDA
(CASTING THE SPELL) "Ruby slippers, slippers red;  Leave the feet of she who's dead.  I summon my authority  And bid you serve Miss Dorothy."
WITCH
The slippers, what are you doing to them?
DOROTHY
(SURPRISED) Why, now they're on my feet!
WITCH
You give them back to me!
GLINDA
Never! There they are, and there they'll stay.
WITCH
You nasty little girl! They're of no use to you!
GLINDA
Don't be frightened of her, Dorothy.
WITCH
You stay out of this, Glinda, or I'll fix you as well.
GLINDA
Rubbish! You have no power here. Begone, before somebody drops a house on you, too.
WITCH
Very well, I'll bide my time! As for you, my fine lady--
DOROTHY
(BRAVELY) You heard what she said. Begone!
WITCH
I'll get you yet, my pretty -- and your little dog, too! (CACKLES MADLY) Away, broomstick! Away!
SFX: WITCH ROCKETS AWAY ON BROOMSTICK
GLINDA
(CALLS) It's all right, Munchkins! Don't hide your faces! She's gone.
SFX: MUNCHKINS EMERGE AND CHATTER BRIEFLY AMONGST THEMSELVES
GLINDA
(TO DOROTHY) Now then, my dear, the sooner you get out of Oz, the safer you'll sleep.
DOROTHY
Oh, I'd give anything to get out of Oz! But how? Which is the way back to Kansas?
GLINDA
Kansas? The only person who might know would be the great and wonderful Wizard of Oz himself.
DOROTHY
The Wizard of Oz? Is he good or is he wicked?
GLINDA
Oh, very good, but very mysterious. He lives far off in the Emerald City. Did you by any chance bring your broomstick with you?
DOROTHY
Uh, no, I'm afraid I didn't.
GLINDA
Well then, you'll have to walk. The Munchkins will see you safely to the border. And remember, never let those ruby slippers off your feet, or you'll be at the mercy of the Wicked Witch of the West.
DOROTHY
But - but how do I start for the Emerald City?
GLINDA
All you have to do is follow that yellow brick road. (MOVING OFF, CALLS) Help her, Munchkins! The yellow brick road!
SFX: MILITARY DRUM, IN BG ... BUILDS TO SONG
MAYOR
Helpers! Attention! Follow the yellow brick road!
1ST MUNCHKIN
Follow the yellow brick road!
2ND MUNCHKIN
Follow the yellow brick road!
MUNCHKINS
(SING) Follow, follow, follow, follow,  Follow the Yellow Brick Road! (THEY ACCOMPANY DOROTHY, IN BG)
DOROTHY
(SINGS) We're off to see the Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz!  If ever a Wiz there was.  If ever, oh, ever a Wiz there was  The Wizard of Oz is one because,  Because, because, because, because, because.  Because of the wonderful things he does.  We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
MUSIC: TO A FINISH
HOST
And so, with the magic slippers on her feet, the little Munchkins marching ahead, and her dog Toto at her heels, Dorothy is off to see the Wizard of Oz.
You're listening to Re-Imagined Radio. Our episode is the radio adaptation of The Wizard of Oz, performed by Judy Garland and other actors for The Lux Radio Theatre, 25 Dec. 1950.
MUSIC: RIR BREAK THEME
BREAK 1--THE FUSEBOX BREAK
HOST
This is John Barber, producer and host. We'll return to our episode in just a moment. But first I want to tell you about The Fusebox Show . . . It's a different kind of radio storytelling, with its own form of wizardry. Here's a sample . . .
SFX: THE FUSEBOX SHOW TEASER  
HOST
Give a listen for yourself wherever you get your podcasts, or at The Fusebox Show website, thefuseboxshow dot com.
SFX: ELECTRICAL SHORT CIRCUIT, BUZZING
MUSIC: RIR THEME, CROSSFADE WITH THE FOLLOWING
HOST
You're listening to Re-Imagined Radio. Our episode is "The Wizard of Oz," a little known radio adaptation of the 1939 film starring Judy Garland. She was was 16 years old when the film was made. In this radio adaptation, in 1950, Judy Garland, 28 years old, is the only original cast member. She recreates her starring movie role as Dorothy Gale along with a fine cast for the Lux Radio Theatre.
Just before the break we left the story at the border of Munchkinland. The little people waved good-bye and disappeared. Dorothy and Toto were left alone. Let's continue listening . . .
ACT 4: SCARECROW AND TIN WOODMAN
MUSIC: INTRODUCTION, "OVER THE RAINBOW" ... THEN "WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD" IN BG, FADE OUT SOBERLY
DOROTHY
Well, Toto, now what?
TOTO
(BARKS)
DOROTHY
We're still on the yellow brick road, but now it goes in two different directions. Which way do we go?
SCARECROW
Pardon me, but that way's a very nice way.
DOROTHY
Who - who said that?
TOTO
(BARKS, THEN OUT BEHIND--)
DOROTHY
Oh, don't be silly, Toto. That's just a scarecrow in the cornfield. Scarecrows don't talk.
SCARECROW
On the other hand, that way's very pleasant also.
DOROTHY
Why, he did talk!
SCARECROW
Is there anything so unusual about that?
DOROTHY
Well, yes, there is. And why do you shake your head? I mean, both yes and no, at the same time?
SCARECROW
Oh, that's my trouble. I never can make up my mind about anything. ...
DOROTHY
Oh?
SCARECROW
The fact is, I haven't got a brain. Take a look at my head. You see? It's straw. Just straw, like the rest of me.
DOROTHY
But how can you talk if you don't have a brain?
SCARECROW
Well, some people without brains do an awful lot of talking ... don't they?
DOROTHY
Yes, I guess you're right.
SCARECROW
Oh, what's he doing; your dog?
DOROTHY
Toto? Why, he's licking your hand.
SCARECROW
(DISAPPOINTED) Oh, that's what I thought. I - I guess I don't scare him, huh?
DOROTHY
(CHUCKLES) No, of course not.
SCARECROW
(DEJECTED) I can't even scare a crow. They come from miles around, they pick off my straw for their nests. It's not at all flattering. ... I'm - I'm a failure, just because I haven't got a brain.
MUSIC: INTRO OF "IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN"
DOROTHY
Well, what would you do with a brain if you had one?
SCARECROW
Do? Why, if I had a brain I could, I could--
(SINGS) I could while away the hours  Conferrin' with the flow'rs  Consultin' with the rain.  And my head I'd be scratchin'  While my thoughts were busy hatchin'  If I only had a brain.
I'd unravel ev'ry riddle  For any individ'l  In trouble or in pain.
DOROTHY
(SINGS) With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'  You could be another Lincoln  If you only had a brain.
SCARECROW
(SINGS) Oh, I could tell you why  The ocean's near the shore.  I could think of things  I never thought before.  And then I'd sit  And think some more.
I would not be just a nuffin'  My head all full of stuffin'  My heart all full of pain  And perhaps I'd deserve you  And be even worthy erv you  If I only had a brain!
MUSIC: SONG ENDS
DOROTHY
Wonderful! Just imagine, a scarecrow singing and dancing! Why, if our scarecrow, back in Kansas could do that--
SCARECROW
What's Kansas?
DOROTHY
Well, that's where Toto and I come from, and I want to get back there so badly that I'm going all the way to the Emerald City to get the Wizard of Oz to help me.
SCARECROW
A wizard? Do you think, if I went along, he could give me some brains mebbe?
DOROTHY
Oh, I think you better stay here. I've got a witch mad at me and you might get into trouble.
SCARECROW
Oh, but I'm not afraid of a witch. I'm not afraid of anything-- Oh, 'cept maybe a lighted match.
DOROTHY
Well, since you're made out of straw, I can hardly blame you for that.
SCARECROW
Oh, won't you take me with you? Please?
DOROTHY
(A DECISION) Of course I will. Gladly!
SCARECROW
Hooray! I'm gonna leave the cornfield!
MUSIC: INTRO OF "WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD"
DOROTHY
And see a wizard! (CHUCKLES) I hope.
SCARECROW
What're we waitin' fer?
DOROTHY & SCARECROW
(SING) We're off to see the Wizard,  The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz!  If ever a Wiz there was.
MUSIC: SINGERS AND SONG FADE OUT
SFX: TRANSITIONAL PAUSE
MUSIC: MILDLY EERIE ... THEN IN BG
DOROTHY
(NERVOUS) Scarecrow?
SCARECROW
Hm?
DOROTHY
Do - do you see what I see?
SCARECROW
Well, not knowin' what you see, how can I say that what I see is what you--? Oh, wait a minute! Look, over there!
DOROTHY
That's just what I mean, at the edge of the forest.
MUSIC: OUT
SCARECROW
It's a man -- a man made out of tin and holdin' an axe. Come on, Dorothy!
SFX: THEIR FOOTSTEPS ON GRASS
DOROTHY
Be careful, please. You, too, Toto.
SCARECROW
Look here -- here on the grass. An oil can.
SFX: CLINK! OF OIL CAN PICKED UP ... CREAK OF TIN MAN'S JAWS WHEN HE SPEAKS
TIN MAN
Ooooiiiillll ccccaaaannnnn.
DOROTHY
(TO SCARECROW) Did you say something?
SCARECROW
No. He did. ...
TIN MAN
Ooooiiiillll ccccaaaannnnn.
DOROTHY
He said "oil can"! He wants me to oil him!
TIN MAN
Mmmmmmmmy mmmmoooouuuuttttthhhh.
SCARECROW
He said, his moooouuth.
DOROTHY
(TO TIN MAN) All right, just a minute now.
SFX: DOROTHY OILS TIN MAN WITH CAN ... HIS JAWS SLOWLY STOP CREAKING BEHIND--
TIN MAN
(MOUTH SLOWLY LOOSENS UP) Ooooooohhhhhhhh, my goodness. Ooooh, joy! Oh, bliss! I can talk again! I can talk! Oh! Oh, my arms, please.
SFX: DOROTHY OILS TIN MAN WITH CAN AND HIS LOOSENED JOINTS SQUEAK DURING FOLLOWING
TIN MAN
My elbows! Ohhh, that's wonderful! Wonderful!
DOROTHY
Am I--? Am I doing it right?
TIN MAN
Oh, yes, yes! What a relief! (SIGHS) I've held this axe up for ages!
DOROTHY
But, my goodness, how did you ever get like this in the first place?
TIN MAN
Oh. Well, about a year ago I was chopping that tree, when suddenly it began to rain. I rusted so solid, I haven't been able to move since.
DOROTHY
Well, you're perfect now.
TIN MAN
(SADLY) Perfect. Just bang on my chest if you think I'm perfect. Go ahead, bang on it.
SFX: CLANG! WITH ECHO ... DOROTHY BANGS ON TIN MAN'S CHEST
SCARECROW
(IMPRESSED) Beautiful. What an echo!
TIN MAN
You see? Empty. The tinsmith forgot to give me a heart.
DOROTHY & SCARECROW
No heart?!
TIN MAN
No heart.
MUSIC: INTRO TO "IF I ONLY HAD A HEART"
DOROTHY
(SYMPATHETIC) Oh.
TIN MAN
All hollow. And, believe me, not having a heart, well, presents problems.
(SINGS) When a man's an empty kettle  He should be on his mettle  And yet I'm torn apart  Just because I'm presumin'  That I could be kinda human  If I only had heart.
I'd be tender, I'd be gentle  And awful sentimental  Regarding Love and Art I'd be friends with the sparrows  And the boy that shoots the arrows  If I only had a heart.
Picture me -- a balcony.  Above a voice sings low, "Wherefore art Thou, Romeo?"  I hear a beat.  How sweet!
Just to register emotion,  Jealousy, devotion,  And really feel the part,  I'd stay young and chipper  And I'd lock it with a zipper  If I only had a heart!
MUSIC: SONG ENDS
DOROTHY
Well, I certainly see what you mean.
TIN MAN
You were whispering, you and him, while I was singing.
DOROTHY
Well, we were just wondering if you'd care to go with us to the Emerald City, then you could ask the Wizard of Oz for a heart.
TIN MAN
But suppose he wouldn't give me one when we got there.
DOROTHY
Oh, but he will, he must! We've come such a long way already.
WITCH
Hah! You call that long, my pretty? Why, you've just begun! (CACKLES)
SCARECROW
Who's that?
TIN MAN
Who's laughing?
DOROTHY
The Witch! The Wicked Witch!
WITCH
Well, my two fine gentlemen, helping the little lady along, are you? Well, stay away from her!
SCARECROW
Oh - oh, yeah?
WITCH
Or I'll stuff a mattress with you, you straw man! And you! I'll use that tin carcass for a beehive! (CACKLES MANIACALLY)
SCARECROW
Gosh, what a witch! ...
WITCH
Wanna play ball, Scarecrow? Well, here! Catch!
SFX: FOOM! RUMBLE OF INCOMING FIRE BALL
DOROTHY
No, no, look out! It's a ball of fire!
SFX: CRACKLE! OF FIRE
SCARECROW
(PANICS) Fire! No, no, no, no!
SFX: STAMP! STAMP! OF TIN MAN'S FEET BEHIND--
TIN MAN
Stand still! Stand still! I'll stamp out the fire with my tin feet! (BEAT) There! There, you can move now.
SCARECROW
(RELIEVED) Oh, much obliged, Tin Woodsman.
DOROTHY
Oh, yes! We both are!
SCARECROW
But I'm still not afraid of her. I'll see that you get safely to the Wizard now, whether I get a brain or not! Stuff a mattress with me? Hah!
TIN MAN
(AGREES) Mm! And I'll see that you reach the Wizard whether I get a heart or not!
DOROTHY
Oh, you're the best friends anybody ever had. And it's funny, but I feel as if I'd known you all the time. (REALIZES) You're just like Hunk and - and-and Hickory. But I - I couldn't have known you, could I?
SCARECROW
I certainly don't see how.
DOROTHY
(EXHALES SELF-CONSCIOUSLY) I guess it doesn't really matter. We know each other now, all right!
SCARECROW
That's right!
TIN MAN
We do!
SCARECROW
Then -- to Oz?
TIN MAN
To Oz!
MUSIC: INTRO TO "WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD"
THE TRIO
(SINGS) We're off to see the Wizard,  The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz!  If ever a Wiz there was.
MUSIC: SINGERS AND SONG FADE OUT
ACT 5: COWARDLY LION
HOST
You're listening to "The Wizard of Oz" on Re-Imagined Radio. With this episode we discover the little known radio adaptation of this classic movie heard on The Lux Radio Theatre, 25 December 1950.
Sponsored by Lever Brothers, manufacturers of Lux soap, The Lux Radio Theatre began in 1934 with hour-long adaptations of Broadway plays and Hollywood movies. The original actors voiced radio adaptations. In this instance, Judy Garland, 28 years old, the only original cast member, recreates her starring movie role as Dorothy Gale along with a fine cast of supporting actors. Let's continue listening . . .
MUSIC: EERIE ... THEN IN BG
SFX: THE TRIO'S FOOTSTEPS
SCARECROW
Uh, does anybody happen to know where we are?
TIN MAN
That's easy. We're in a forest.
DOROTHY
And I don't like it. It's so dark and - and creepy.
TOTO
(BARKS, MOVES OFF BEHIND--)
DOROTHY
Toto! Toto, come back! Stay on the path!
SCARECROW
He sees something behind that bush.
TIN MAN
(STAMMERS IN FEAR) And so do I!
DOROTHY
I think I do, too. It's a lion! A lion! He's coming this way!
LION
(OMINOUS, COMMANDING) Stay where you are! (COMICAL ROAR WHICH SOUNDS LIKE AN ANNOYING YAWN ... THEN--) Put 'em up! Put up your fists! (ANOTHER ROAR) ... I'll fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I'll fight you standin' on one foot. Stand up and fight!
TOTO
(BARKS WILDLY, CONTINUES IN BG)
LION
(ANOTHER ROAR) I'll swallow you first, you little peewee dog!
DOROTHY
Shame on you! You let that little dog alone!
SFX: POW! DOROTHY SLUGS THE LION
DOROTHY
Let him alone!
TOTO
(STOPS BARKING BEHIND--)
LION
(SOBS EXTRAVAGANTLY FOR TEN SECONDS, BLUBBERS) Now, why did you have to slap me for? (MORE SOBBING) I didn't bite him. (WEEPS)
SCARECROW
Look. The lion -- he's crying.
DOROTHY
(TO LION) Well, you tried to bite him.
LION
(BLUBBERS) Well, you didn't have to go and hit me, did ya? ... (SNIFF-SNIFF-SNIFFLES) Is my nose bleedin'? ...
DOROTHY
Oh, of course not. My goodness, you're nothing but a great, big coward!
LION
You're right, I'm a coward. I haven't any courage at all!
SCARECROW
(TO DOROTHY) Do you suppose the Wizard 'ud help him, too?
DOROTHY
I don't see why not. (TO LION) Why don't you come with us, Lion? We're on our way to see the Wizard of Oz and get the Tin Woodsman a heart.
TIN MAN
And him a brain!
DOROTHY
And I'm sure he could give you some courage.
LION
But wouldn't you feel degraded to be seen in the company of a cowardly lion? I would. (SOBS) ...
DOROTHY
No, of course not. Here, you - you'd better take my handkerchief.
LION
Thank you. (BLOWS HIS NOSE) Oh, you're bein' so nice to me! ...
DOROTHY
Now, please stop crying.
LION
(WHIMPERS) I'll try.
MUSIC: INTRO TO "IF I ONLY HAD THE NERVE"
SCARECROW
But - but how did you get this way in the first place, Lion?
LION
Well, if you can spare the time, it - it was like this--
(SINGS) Yes, it's sad, believe me, Missy,  When you're born to be a sissy  Without the vim and verve.  But I could show my prowess  Be a lion not a mow-ess  If I only had the nerve.
I'm afraid there's no denyin'  I'm just a dandy lion  A fate I don't deserve.  I'd be brave as a blizzard--
TIN MAN
(SINGS) I'd be gentle as a lizard--
SCARECROW
(SINGS) I'd be clever as a gizzard--
DOROTHY
(SINGS) If the Wizard is a Wizard  Who will serve.
SCARECROW
(SINGS) Then I'm sure to get a brain--
TIN MAN
(SINGS) A heart--
DOROTHY
(SINGS) A home--
LION
(SINGS) The nerve!
MUSIC: SONG ENDS
SCARECROW
Then let's be on our way without any more delay!
TIN MAN
That's just what I was gonna say.
LION
(CHUCKLES, TIMIDLY) Hip-hip hooray.
MUSIC: INTRO TO "WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD"
THE QUARTET:
(SINGS) We're off to see the Wizard,  The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.  We hear he is a whiz of a Wiz!  If ever a Wiz there was.
MUSIC: SINGERS AND SONG FADE OUT
ACT 6: GATEKEEPER
MUSIC: CREEPY, THEN IN BG
WITCH
Ha ha! Little do they know, I, too, was hiding in the forest. I'll still get those ruby slippers -- and then my power will be the greatest in Oz. And woe to those who try to stop me! Heigh-ho, Broomstick -- away!
SFX: WITCH ROCKETS AWAY ON BROOMSTICK
MUSIC: TAG FOR WITCH'S DEPARTURE ... THEN ETHEREAL CHORUS, IN BG
DOROTHY
Look, everybody! Look! Emerald City! Oh, at last, at last!
LION
Emerald City, eh? Gosh, it's all green.
SCARECROW
And with turrets and towers and-- Look how big it is!
DOROTHY
But how do we get in? This wall goes all around everything.
GATEKEEPER
(OFF) It most certainly does!
SCARECROW
Look! At the top of the wall.
DOROTHY
Oh, who are you?
GATEKEEPER
That's my question. Who are you?
TIN MAN
Well, uh, if you'll let us in, we'll be glad to tell ya.
GATEKEEPER
Let you in, huh? Well, you look harmless enough. (CALLS, GRANDLY) Open the gates of Emerald City!
MUSIC: FANFARE
DOROTHY
We can go in! The gates are opening!
GATEKEEPER
Well, that's the general idea of gates, isn't it? ... Kindly step forward and state your business.
DOROTHY
Uh, we want to see the Wizard, please.
GATEKEEPER
(STAMMERS) The Wizard? Oh, ho, but nobody can see the great Oz. Nobody's ever seen the great Oz. Even I have never seen him.
DOROTHY
Oh, please. The Good Witch of the North sent me here.
GATEKEEPER
Prove it.
SCARECROW
She's wearing the ruby slippers she gave her, you see?
GATEKEEPER
Well, bust my buttons. So she is.
DOROTHY
Then you'll take us to the Wizard?
GATEKEEPER
There you go again! Wizard! (FLUSTERED, STAMMERS BADLY) Well, ah, yes, of course-- Ah, wizard-- (STALLING) Meanwhile, you'd all better wait--
GUARD
I beg your pardon, sir?
GATEKEEPER
Well, what is it now? Good grief, man, can't you see I'm--?
GUARD
You're wanted, sir, in the public square.
GATEKEEPER
Who wants me?
GUARD
The entire population of Emerald City! There's something going on, sir, and I don't like the looks of it. (FADES OUT)
SFX: TRANSITIONAL PAUSE
SFX: FADE IN CROWD MURMURING ... CONTINUES IN BG
GATEKEEPER
Now, now, now! What's everyone so excited about?!
WOMAN
Don't you see? Up there there in the sky!
GATEKEEPER
Huh? Well! That's quite a trick, isn't it?
TIN MAN
Dorothy, it's skywriting!
SCARECROW
Letters of black smoke all across the sky.
LION
(SCARED, STAMMERS) What does it say?
DOROTHY
It's the Wicked Witch! It says - it says, "Surrender Dorothy"!
WITCH
(OFF, CACKLES)
WOMAN
Dorothy? Who's Dorothy?
SFX: CROWD IS CONFUSED AND UPSET
MAN
The Wizard will explain it! To the Wizard!
SFX: CROWD IS READY TO MARCH OFF
GATEKEEPER
(TO THE CROWD) Here, here! Nobody's going to bother the Wizard now!
SFX: CROWD QUIETS
GATEKEEPER
The great and powerful Oz has the situation well in hand! I hope. So you can all go home! Go on, scatter! Ya draw flies!
SFX: CROWD RELUCTANTLY EXITS, DURING FOLLOWING--
DOROTHY
But -- if you please, sir -- we want to see the Wizard right away.
GATEKEEPER
Certainly not. Not nobody, not no how.
SCARECROW
But she's Dorothy.
GATEKEEPER
The Witch's Dorothy?! No, not even you.
DOROTHY
(TEARFUL) Oh, please! Please! It's - it's the only way I'll ever be able to get home.
GATEKEEPER
Not nobody, not no how.
DOROTHY
(SOBS) Auntie Em was so good to me, and I never appreciated it -- running away, hurting her feelings--
GATEKEEPER
What's that?
DOROTHY
(WEEPS) Professor Marvel said she was sick. She may be dying -- and it's all my fault.
GATEKEEPER
(ALSO WEEPS) I'll get you to the Wizard somehow.
SCARECROW
(SURPRISED) He's cryin', too.
GATEKEEPER
(SOBS) You see, I - I had an Aunt Em once myself. Oh, this is all highly irregular, but just follow me. (WEEPS)
MUSIC: VERY SPOOKY ... THEN IN BG
SCARECROW
Gosh, he just left us in this chamber. It's so dark and vapory, huh?
DOROTHY
He said the Wizard would be waiting for us.
LION
I'm closin' my eyes. (STAMMERS) Just tell me when it's all over. (WHIMPERS)
BREAK #2--THE RIR BREAK
MUSIC: RIR BREAK THEME, OPEN
HOST
This is John Barber, producer and host of Re-Imagined Radio. With each episode we combine voices, sound effects, and music to spark your imagination . . .
SFX: RE-IMAGINED RADIO TEASER
Learn more and listen to past episodes at our website, reimaginedradio.net
MUSIC: RIR BREAK THEME, RETURN
ACT 7: THE WIZARD
HOST
You're listening to Re-Imagined Radio. Our episode is "The Wizard of Oz," the little known radio adaptation of the classic film starring Judy Garland as Dorothy Gale. So far, Dorothy, the Tin Woodman, Scarecrow, and Cowardly Lion have arrived at the Emerald City hoping to meet the Wizard. Little do they know of the challenges that still lay ahead. Let's continue listening . . .
MUSIC: UP FOR AN ACCENT ... THEN OUT WITH--
WIZARD
(BOOMING ECHO) Silence!
TIN MAN
Who - who is that?!
WIZARD
(ECHO) I am Oz! The great and powerful!
DOROTHY
But - but we can't see anybody.
WIZARD
(ECHO) Silence! You shall never see me!
DOROTHY
But, if you please, we - we must tell you something.
WIZARD
(ECHO) Nobody ever tells me anything! I know everything! You -- you're a little girl who wants to go home. And you, Tin Man?
TIN MAN
Y-y-yes, your honor?
WIZARD
(ECHO) Clinking and clattering for a heart! And you?!
SCARECROW
Me, Your Wizardry?
WIZARD
(ECHO) A billowing bale of bovine breakfast food begging for a brain! And you, Lion!?
LION
(FAINTS) Ooooooooooooh.
SFX: THUD! AS LION'S BODY HITS THE FLOOR
DOROTHY
He's fainted!
SCARECROW
Oh, Lion, Lion, wake up. The Wizard'll be awfully mad.
DOROTHY
(UPSET, TO WIZARD) Oh, you ought to be ashamed of yourself!
WIZARD
(MOMENTARILY STARTLED AT HER EFFRONTERY) I - I what?
DOROTHY
Frightening the poor Cowardly Lion like that, when he came to you for help!
WIZARD
(ECHO) Silence! The beneficent Oz has every intention of granting your requests. But you must first prove worthy!
DOROTHY
Oh, we will. We'll do anything.
WIZARD
(ECHO) Very well. Bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West.
TIN MAN
Oh, but-- But if we do that-- Why, we'll have to kill her to get it!
WIZARD
(Echo) Bring me her broomstick and I'll grant your requests!
LION
But what if she kills us first? (WHIMPERS IN FEAR)
WIZARD
(ECHO) Silence! Leave the great gates of Emerald City --- follow the arrows marked "Haunted Forest" --- and hence to the Witch's castle. Now go! Go -- and return -- if you can!
DOROTHY
(NERVOUS) The Haunted Forest? The Witch's castle? (DETERMINED) Well, I - I guess there's nothing else to do but go.
SCARECROW
That's the spirit, Dorothy. Come on, Lion.
TIN MAN
We're not afraid. We'll get that old broomstick.
LION
(WHIMPERS LOUD AND LONG IN FEAR) ...
MUSIC: OMINOUS ... THEN IN BG
WITCH
(EVIL LAUGHTER) And they think I don't know about it. They think they'll take me by surprise. Ah, at last I'll have them in my power -- the little girl, her nasty dog, and the magic ruby slippers! (CACKLES MANIACALLY)
MUSIC: UP, FOR A BIG FINISH
ACT 8: WICKED WITCH DESTROYED
MUSIC: INTRO ... "OVER THE RAINBOW" ... THEN IN BG
HOST
Well, if Dorothy is ever to get back home to Kansas--
SCARECROW
And if I'm ever to have a brain--
TIN MAN
And me a heart--
LION
And me, courage--
HOST
Then Dorothy must first get the broomstick of the Wicked Witch and bring it back to the Wizard of Oz. But if the Wizard knows everything, the Wicked Witch, unfortunately, knows quite a lot herself. Now, in her bleak and dismal castle, she gloats over a newly-captured prisoner.
WITCH
(CACKLES) Excuse me for laughing, but it was so easy to capture you that I can't help it.
DOROTHY
(BREATHLESS) At least my friends got away. Toto, too!
WITCH
What do I care about them? It's you I wanted! You and the magic ruby slippers. I had every warrior slave in this castle on the watch for you. Now give me those slippers!
DOROTHY
No, no! The good witch Glinda told me not to!
WITCH
Fool that I am, I should know the slippers will never come off as long as you're alive!
DOROTHY
You-- You mean--?
WITCH
(SAVORING THE IDEA) Ahhhh! Now, how shall I do it?!
MUSIC: OMINOUS, IN BG
WITCH
I think I'll make up a special batch of poison. Yes! That ought to do it -- some nice, fresh poison! (CACKLES)
MUSIC: UP AND OUT
TOTO
(APPROACHES, BARKING)
SCARECROW
Look, it's Dorothy's dog. Tin Man, Lion, look.
TOTO
(WHINES FORLORNLY)
LION
Oh, we're goners now, all right. He'll lead the witch's soldiers right here, to our hidin' place.
TIN MAN
No, no -- he's come to take us to Dorothy -- up there, in the castle!
SCARECROW
We can't fail her now -- we can't!
LION
I'll go! Witch or no witch, [guards or no guards,] I'll tear 'em apart! I'll knock 'em cold! I may not come out alive, but I'm goin' in there!
SCARECROW
(IMPRESSED) Oh, Lion, that's wonderful.
LION
There's only one thing I want you fellas to do!
TIN MAN
What's that?
LION
(WHIMPERS) Talk me out of it. ...
SCARECROW
Oh, no, you don't. Come what may, we're going to rescue Dorothy.
TIN MAN
(MOVING OFF) All right, Toto! Show us the way!
SFX: TRANSITIONAL PAUSE
ACT 9: RESCUE DOROTHY
TOTO
(FADE IN QUIET WHINING)
SFX: TOTO SCRATCHES ON DOOR
SCARECROW
This is the room. Toto sniffed her out.
TIN MAN
(CALLS GENTLY) Dorothy?
DOROTHY
(BEHIND DOOR) Who - who is it?
LION
It's us. We've come to save ya. Open the door.
DOROTHY
(BEHIND DOOR) I can't. She's locked me in here.
SCARECROW
Tin Man, your axe -- chop down the door!
LION
But that'll make a noise and the guards--
TIN MAN
Who cares about the guards? (CALLS) We'll save you, Dorothy! (WITH EFFORT) We'll save you!
SFX: THUMP! OF AXE AGAINST WOODEN DOOR ... CONTINUES IN BG
DOROTHY
(BEHIND DOOR) She'll be back any minute! Hurry, please!
TIN MAN
(WITH EFFORT) Here goes the door. Stand back, Dorothy!
SFX: CRACK! AND CRASH! OF DOOR AS IT BREAKS
DOROTHY
Oh, I knew you'd come! I knew it! (TEARFUL JOY) And Toto! Toto!
SCARECROW
Oh, we'll have you out o' this castle before you can say Jack Ro--
WITCH
Going so soon?
LION
(WHIMPERS) The Witch! The Wicked Witch!
WITCH
Why, my little party's just about to begin. Guards, seize them! Seize them!
SFX: MURMURING GUARDS ENTER
WITCH
Thought you were being pretty foxy, huh? Now I've got the whole lot of you. Let's see -- how shall I start the fun? You first, Scarecrow! (CACKLES) How about another ball of fire?
SFX: FOOM! OF FIRE BALL
SCARECROW
(QUICKLY) No! No, no, no -- not that! Not fire!
DOROTHY
(SCREAMS)
SFX: CRACKLE! OF FLAMES
SCARECROW
Help! I'm burning! I'm burning!
DOROTHY
I'll help you! This bucket of water--!
WITCH
Water? No! No! Put down that water!
SFX: SPLASH OF WATER! HISS OF STEAM!
SCARECROW
Oh, thank you, Dorothy, thank you!
WITCH
Ohhhh! You cursed brat! You've killed me! You've killed me! (GROANS)
DOROTHY
Nonsense. I - I just happened to splash some water on you, too.
WITCH
(GROANS)
LION
(IN AWE) Look! The Witch! She's melting.
WITCH
Ohhh, what a world, what a world! Who would have thought that a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? I'm going. I'm going fast! (DYING) Oooooooooooooh.
SFX: MURMURING GUARDS
TIN MAN
(She is gone! Look, nothing but a little steaming puddle!)
CAPTAIN
(ASTONISHED) She's dead. You've killed the Wicked Witch.
DOROTHY
But I didn't mean to kill her! I - I didn't know that water would--
CAPTAIN
You don't understand. Now we're all free. (YELLS, TO THE GUARDS) She enslaved us! But now her spell over all of us is broken!
SFX: GUARDS CHEER JOYOUSLY!
CAPTAIN
All hail to Dorothy! The Wicked Witch is dead!
GUARDS
Hail! Hail! Hail!
MUSIC: "DING DONG! THE WITCH IS DEAD"
GUARDS
(SING) Ding Dong! The Witch is dead.  Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!  Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead!  Wake up, you sleepy head!  Rub your eyes, get out of bed.  Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead!  She's gone where the Goblins go,  Below ... below ... below ...
DOROTHY
(OVERLAPS WITH SONG ABOVE) Oh, thank you. And, if you don't mind, may I please have her broom?
CAPTAIN
(GRATEFUL) Here -- take it with you.
DOROTHY
(TO HER FRIENDS, HAPPY) Now we can go back to the Wizard!
LION
And tell him the Wicked Witch is dead.
SCARECROW
Onward to Emerald City!
MUSIC: "DING DONG!" UP AND THEN FADES OUT
HOST
You are listening to Re-Imagined Radio, our "The Wizard of Oz" episode. The conclusion of our story is next.
ACT 10: NO PLACE LIKE HOME
GATEKEEPER
I still can't believe my eyes. You've come back -- back to Emerald City!
DOROTHY
And we did exactly what the great Oz told us to do. Here! Here's the Witch's broomstick.
SCARECROW
And now, if you don't mind takin' us to the Wizard--
TIN MAN
You see, he promised us he'd--
GATEKEEPER
(STAMMERS) But, uh-- Promised you--? Broomstick--? Hoo hoo hoo. What an unhappy situation.
SCARECROW
Unhappy? After all we've gone through?
GATEKEEPER
Oh, I'm glad there's no one else around to hear this.
DOROTHY
Hear what?
GATEKEEPER
Oh, little girl, there is no great and powerful Wizard of Oz; that is, I am the Wizard.
DOROTHY
(PUZZLED) But he spoke to us himself.
GATEKEEPER
I spoke to you. Oh, it was no great trick -- a dark room, a few smoke powders. Your own imaginations did the rest.
SCARECROW
Why, you - you humbug!
GATEKEEPER
Exactly.
DOROTHY
(UPSET) Oh, you're a very bad man!
GATEKEEPER
Oh, no, my dear; I'm just a very bad wizard. ...
SCARECROW
What about the heart you promised Tin Man?
LION
And Scarecrow's brain?
GATEKEEPER
Well, anybody can have a brain; that's a very mediocre commodity.
SCARECROW
Well, I don't have one.
GATEKEEPER
Then, listen a moment. Back where I come from, we have great universities where men go to become deep thinkers and when they come out they know how to think just fine. And with no more brains than you have.
SCARECROW
What?
GATEKEEPER
But they have one thing you haven't got -- a diploma.
MUSIC: GRADUATION MUSIC
GATEKEEPER
Therefore, by virtue of the authority in me, vested by the Universitatus Committee-um, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of T-H-D.
SCARECROW
T-H-D?
GATEKEEPER
Doctor of Thinkology; here's your diploma. ...
DOROTHY
(PLEASED) Oh, Scarecrow, how wonderful.
LION
But, well, what about me? I'm still a coward, I think.
GATEKEEPER
Of course not. You are merely under the unfortunate delusion that because you run away from danger you have no courage.
SCARECROW
A simple matter of confusing courage with wisdom. Oh, joy! Oh, rapture! I've got a brain! (CHUCKLES HAPPILY) ...
GATEKEEPER
Back where I come from, Lion, we have men who are called heroes, yet they have no more courage than you have. But they do have one thing you haven't got -- a medal.
LION
Medal?
MUSIC: MILITARY PRESENTATION MUSIC
GATEKEEPER
Therefore, for meritorious conduct and conspicuous bravery against Wicked Witches, I award you the Triple Cross.
DOROTHY
(IMPRESSED) The Triple Cross!
LION
(MODEST) Aw, shucks. It was nothin'. (EMBARRASSED CHUCKLE) ...
GATEKEEPER
You are now a member of the Legion of Courage. (TO TIN MAN) As for you, my galvanized petitioner, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
TIN MAN
I still want one.
GATEKEEPER
Back where I come from, there are men who do nothing but good deeds all day long. And their hearts are no bigger than yours. They're called philanthropists. But they have one thing you haven't got -- a testimonial.
TIN MAN
Testimonial?
MUSIC: A WARM AND LOVING "IF I ONLY HAD A HEART" ...
GATEKEEPER
Therefore, in consideration of your kindness, I present you with this small token of our esteem and affection.
SFX: LOUD, SLOW TICKING! OF WATCH, FADES OUT UNDER FOLLOWING
DOROTHY
A heart! It is a heart.
GATEKEEPER
Just remember that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved.
TIN MAN
(PLEASED) Listen, it ticks! My heart even ticks! (REALIZES) But - but what about Dorothy?
GATEKEEPER
You, uh-- You still want to go back to Kansas, hm?
DOROTHY
Oh, I do, I do!
GATEKEEPER
I wish I could help you, child, but I can't.
DOROTHY
(STUNNED) You mean I'll never get home?
GATEKEEPER
But it - it's really rather pleasant here once you get to know the place.
SCARECROW
And we want you to stay, Dorothy. You see, we love you -- you and Toto.
DOROTHY
And I love you, but ---- what am I to do?
MUSIC: FOR THE ARRIVAL OF GLINDA
GATEKEEPER
What was that?
LION
Look what's comin'.
GATEKEEPER
A bubble! Who's been blowin' bubbles around here?
TIN MAN
Hey, there's somebody in it!
DOROTHY
It's Glinda! Glinda the Good Witch! Oh, help me -- help me.
GLINDA
You don't need my help, child. You've always had the power to go back to Kansas.
DOROTHY
I have?
LION
Then why didn't you tell her before?
GLINDA
Because she wouldn't have believed me. She had to learn by herself.
SCARECROW
Have you learned, Dorothy?
DOROTHY
(THOUGHTFUL) Well, I - I think that - that it wasn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em, and it's that if I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard, because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with. Is that right?
GLINDA
That's all it is, my dear. Now, your magic slippers will take you home in two seconds.
DOROTHY
(RELIEVED) That's - that's too wonderful to be true. (INCREASINGLY WEEPY) Only, it's - it's going to be so hard to really say goodbye. I love you all so much. Goodbye, Tin Man. Oh, don't cry -- you rust so dreadfully.
TIN MAN
Now I know I have a heart. It's breaking.
DOROTHY
Goodbye, Lion. I know it isn't right, but I'm gonna miss the way you used to holler for help before you found your courage.
LION
(SNIFFLING) I never would've found it, if it hadn't been for you.
DOROTHY
And, Scarecrow -- I think I'll miss you most of all.
SCARECROW
Goodbye, dear friend.
GLINDA
Are you ready now?
DOROTHY
(SNIFFLES) Yes, I'm ready. Say goodbye, Toto.
TOTO
(BARKS)
MUSIC: FOR THE MAGICAL TRIP HOME, IN BG
GLINDA
Now close your eyes and think to yourself, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."
DOROTHY & GLINDA
There's no place like home.
DOROTHY
There's no place like home.
MUSIC: SWELLS ... FOR A TRANSITION ... THEN "HOME, SWEET HOME" IN BG
AUNTIE EM
Dorothy? Dorothy child! Oh, wake up! Please wake up.
DOROTHY
(TO HERSELF, HALF-ASLEEP) No place like home. No place like home.
AUNTIE EM
It's Aunt Em, darling. Oh, Henry, look; she's openin' her eyes.
DOROTHY
Oh, Auntie Em -- it is you.
AUNTIE EM
Yes, darlin'.
MUSIC: GENTLY OUT
MARVEL
(APPROACHES) Hello, there! Can I come in? I just dropped by because I heard the little girl got caught in the big cyclone.
UNCLE HENRY
Got a bad knock on the head, Professor Marvel, but she's comin' around now.
AUNTIE EM
We thought for a minute she was goin' to leave us.
HUNK
Sure had us worried, Dorothy.
DOROTHY
(GASPS)
HUNK
Why, you remember me -- your old pal Hunk?
DOROTHY
Oh!
HICKORY
And me, Hickory?
ZEKE
You couldn't forget my face now, could you?
DOROTHY
Zeke! I - I must've been dreaming. I was in a place far away, and - and you, and you, and-- You were all there.
HICKORY
We were?
DOROTHY
But -- you couldn't have been, could you?
MUSIC: GENTLY MAGICAL, IN BG, BEHIND--
AUNTIE EM
Oh, we dream lots of silly things, dear, when we're--
DOROTHY
No, Aunt Em, this was a real, truly live place. And all I kept saying to everybody was, "I want to go home," and they sent me home.
TOTO
(BARKS)
DOROTHY
Oh, Toto! You believe me, even if nobody else does.
UNCLE HENRY
Of course we believe you, Dorothy.
DOROTHY
Oh, well, anyway, Toto -- we're home! And this is my room, and you're all here, and I'm never going to leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all, and oh, Auntie Em, there's no place like home!
(SINGS) Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.  Where troubles melt like lemon drops away above the chimney tops,  That's where you'll find me.  Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly.  Birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh, why can't I?
MUSIC: TO A FINISH
CONCLUSION
HOST
That concludes "The Wizard of Oz," the little known adaptation of the 1939 movie starring Judy Garland for the Lux Radio Theatre. This radio story was broadcast 25 December 1950.
As production for the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz wrapped, it was thought to be too long. MGM studio executives suggested cutting the song "Over the Rainbow." That suggestion was ignored and you just heard 28-year old Judy Garland reprise the song which is so much a part of popular culture today.
Judy Garland voiced the part of Dorothy Gale.
Herb Vigran as Hickory and Tin Woodman
Hans Conried as Hunk and Scarecrow
Edwin Max as Zeke and Cowardly Lion
Ruth Perrott as Auntie Em
William Johnstone as Uncle Henry
Betty Lou Gerson as Glinda the Good Witch
Noreen Gammill as the Wicked Witch
Gil Stratton as Mayor of Munchkinland
Herb Butterfield as The Wizard
and David Light as Toto.
MUSIC: RIR THEME, ESTABLISH, THEN DUCK UNDER THE FOLLOWING
HOST CREDIT ROLL
HOST
Re-Imagined Radio is produced with support from KXRW-FM. Vancouver, Washington's community radio station.
Content curation and script by John Barber.
Sound Design, Music composition, and post-production by Marc Rose.
Graphic design by Holly Slocum Design.
Our announcer is Jack Armstrong.
This is John Barber, producer and host. Thank you so much for listening, and please, join us again for another episode of Re-Imagined Radio where we will continue our exploration of radio storytelling.
MUSIC: RIR THEME UP, THEN DUCK UNDER THE FOLLOWING
ANNOUNCER
This is a production of Re-Imagined Radio. Our radio broadcasts are heard on local, regional, and international community radio stations.
For on demand streaming, point your browsers to our website, reimaginedradio (all one word, no punctuation) DOT net. 
Thank you so much for listening, and please, join us again for another episode of Re-Imagined Radio where we will continue our exploration of radio storytelling.
MUSIC: RIR THEME UP, AND TO END.